I respect you too much to lie to you, so I'll give it to you straight. You're haven't been an easy person to interact with on these forums. It does take a very deliberate amount of patience to do so. However, you are, with all due respect to our other members, the most inspiring and enjoyable person to interact with here. You're unique, amazing and witty beyond compare. You have spoken of your "demons" before, and it was my previous experience of playing Hellbade that helped teach me to interact with people who face these challenges and regard them with a new level of respect. Still, we all carry a certain amount of ignorance and if that brought me to a point where I said something to hurt you then please accept my apology. Your amazing and wonderful, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I don't feel right knowing you plan to pawn something to buy this game, so please DM me about that and I would be honoured to help. That's not out of sympathy, it's just what feels right for me. Consider it a “Thank You”.