Sometimes, it's just how life is. It can get really rough to the point you want to give up but you have to keep going. I'm glad you're doing better for yourself. When I was younger I tended to be quiet most of the time. The only reason people never messed with me was because I could fight and usually I didn't care if I injured someone seriously. I grew up in a very violent community where most of the people I grew up with were all killed. The worst thing was that I was there to see most of them and it left me numb at one point as a teen. However, at some point, I realized that by trying to numb the pain I was never going to get over it. I also realized that I couldn't control the outcome of anything external outside of what I did so I put my energy into that.