How to find like minded people when your primary interests are staying at home and playing video games?

[Steerminator]

So, this is a little embarrassing to admit, but I don't really have any friends anymore.  I used to, but over time they've all gone off and gotten married or whatever, which apparently makes people forget about their single friends.  The only actual friend I have is my ex girlfriend, who while I'm on very good terms with, I've come to realize I have barely anything in common. 

 

I've always found it difficult to make friends for whatever reason, whether its because of my social awkwardness (due to high functioning autism) or my obsession with indoor activities like watching movies and playing video games.  But now that I'm in my 30s it seems to be even more difficult.  Just about every friend I ever had I met in school, which I am now permanently done with.  I'm not involved in social media at all, and I don't want to be.  Put the pandemic into the mix, and you've got a recipe for incurable loneliness.  I don't dislike going out, mind you, its just that -most- of the time I prefer to be at home (or somebody's home).  But how are people like me supposed to connect with one another when we're sitting at home the vast majority of the time?

[Reality vs Adventure]

I'm in the same boat as you and also don't use social media. If you like being at home, the only real place to meet anyone is on the internet or at work. I actually like being alone because I am my best company. I've accepted the fact that not many people like the things I like. Actually, I should say they like the things I like, but don't do the things I like. Nature is gonna weed you out if you live the single life much longer. But it's ok. I've been weeded out. I'll never get married or have children. But I personally don't mind at all. If you do mind, you better get out there. Everything will cost money to go out and meet people. And you will go out of your comfort zone. You could enroll in a fun class in a community college. That may be the best way. You can learn something and meet people. You could get a part time job somewhere fun or volunteer somewhere. My sister goes to a chess club and she is the least likely person you would think to do that, believe me. But with the pandemic, you are very limited. The only other option is to go to your local grocery store and start humpin every leg you see. 

[The Blackangel]

I’ve always been a loner, so isolation is perfect for me. I’m also the most misanthropic bitch you’ll ever encounter. I keep all interactions with people online unless I have absolutely no choice. I’ve never had a single friend in my life. And you know what? I prefer it that way. It means that I don’t have to put up with anyone’s stupid bullshit.

Solitude and isolation are the best way to go about things.

[killamch89]

8 hours ago, Steerminator said:

So, this is a little embarrassing to admit, but I don't really have any friends anymore.  I used to, but over time they've all gone off and gotten married or whatever, which apparently makes people forget about their single friends.  The only actual friend I have is my ex girlfriend, who while I'm on very good terms with, I've come to realize I have barely anything in common. 

 

I've always found it difficult to make friends for whatever reason, whether its because of my social awkwardness (due to high functioning autism) or my obsession with indoor activities like watching movies and playing video games.  But now that I'm in my 30s it seems to be even more difficult.  Just about every friend I ever had I met in school, which I am now permanently done with.  I'm not involved in social media at all, and I don't want to be.  Put the pandemic into the mix, and you've got a recipe for incurable loneliness.  I don't dislike going out, mind you, its just that -most- of the time I prefer to be at home (or somebody's home).  But how are people like me supposed to connect with one another when we're sitting at home the vast majority of the time?

Sometimes, you have to be comfortable with being alone because that's how it's going to be at times. Secondly, the internet will have to be your main source of finding people who share your common interest. I make friends all the time through playing online video games or forums - some I've known for over a decade and have played multiple online games with. Social Media is a very crazy place to meet people because most of the people on these platforms are unscrupulous/liars/scammers so you have to be extremely careful.

8 hours ago, Reality vs Adventure said:

I'm in the same boat as you and also don't use social media. If you like being at home, the only real place to meet anyone is on the internet or at work. I actually like being alone because I am my best company. I've accepted the fact that not many people like the things I like. Actually, I should say they like the things I like, but don't do the things I like. Nature is gonna weed you out if you live the single life much longer. But it's ok. I've been weeded out. I'll never get married or have children. But I personally don't mind at all. If you do mind, you better get out there. Everything will cost money to go out and meet people. And you will go out of your comfort zone. You could enroll in a fun class in a community college. That may be the best way. You can learn something and meet people. You could get a part time job somewhere fun or volunteer somewhere. My sister goes to a chess club and she is the least likely person you would think to do that, believe me. But with the pandemic, you are very limited. The only other option is to go to your local grocery store and start humpin every leg you see. 

Sometimes, going outside of your comfort zone is what brings about positive changes in life.

[Reality vs Adventure]

56 minutes ago, killamch89 said:

Sometimes, going outside of your comfort zone is what brings about positive changes in life.

I know you are right, but I live deep in the country; 15 min drive to any civilization and everybody is klan members. I'm starting to think moving may be in my best interest. 

[killamch89]

On 6/12/2021 at 8:26 PM, Reality vs Adventure said:

I know you are right, but I live deep in the country; 15 min drive to any civilization and everybody is klan members. I'm starting to think moving may be in my best interest. 

You probably could give it a try - it sounds way better than staying in that current environment.

[Steerminator]

On 6/12/2021 at 12:20 PM, Reality vs Adventure said:

I'm in the same boat as you and also don't use social media. If you like being at home, the only real place to meet anyone is on the internet or at work. I actually like being alone because I am my best company. I've accepted the fact that not many people like the things I like. Actually, I should say they like the things I like, but don't do the things I like. Nature is gonna weed you out if you live the single life much longer. But it's ok. I've been weeded out. I'll never get married or have children. But I personally don't mind at all. If you do mind, you better get out there. Everything will cost money to go out and meet people. And you will go out of your comfort zone. You could enroll in a fun class in a community college. That may be the best way. You can learn something and meet people. You could get a part time job somewhere fun or volunteer somewhere. My sister goes to a chess club and she is the least likely person you would think to do that, believe me. But with the pandemic, you are very limited. The only other option is to go to your local grocery store and start humpin every leg you see. 

You do point out a lot of good ideas.  I actually may try some of those.  I do like doing things alone, just not all the time.  I like having friends to share my experiences with.  Doesn't have to be a girlfriend (in fact, it might be better if it isn't.)  I love the things that I love so much, but sometimes I miss having friends to play video games and watch movies with, and discuss things like video games, movies, and music.

 

On 6/12/2021 at 9:26 PM, Reality vs Adventure said:

I know you are right, but I live deep in the country; 15 min drive to any civilization and everybody is klan members. I'm starting to think moving may be in my best interest. 

Sometimes I have wondered if the KKK even still exists.  But you not only know that you have them and where to find them, but actually have a large number of them out in the open?  I would high tail it outta there if possible.  It sounds like crazyland.

[Steerminator]

On 6/12/2021 at 2:11 PM, The Blackangel said:

I’ve always been a loner, so isolation is perfect for me. I’m also the most misanthropic bitch you’ll ever encounter. I keep all interactions with people online unless I have absolutely no choice. I’ve never had a single friend in my life. And you know what? I prefer it that way. It means that I don’t have to put up with anyone’s stupid bullshit.

Solitude and isolation are the best way to go about things.

You sound a lot like my sister; she's usually friendly when approached, but she's the most misanthropic person I know.  I hate to copy your exact words, but that's literally how I describe her to people.  She has no friends and doesn't want any.  I almost never see her because she spends 95% of her free time sitting in her room watching anime.  I'm pretty sure the only people in the entire world she actually likes are me, my brother, and our parents.  I'm not trying to paint her in a negative light, mind you.  I mean, I love my sister.  But that's how she is, lol.  Quite the opposite of me in that way; I like people and being around them.  People just don't seem to like me very much.  I mean, not enough to want to become friends and hang out and stuff.

[killamch89]

8 hours ago, Steerminator said:

You sound a lot like my sister; she's usually friendly when approached, but she's the most misanthropic person I know.  I hate to copy your exact words, but that's literally how I describe her to people.  She has no friends and doesn't want any.  I almost never see her because she spends 95% of her free time sitting in her room watching anime.  I'm pretty sure the only people in the entire world she actually likes are me, my brother, and our parents.  I'm not trying to paint her in a negative light, mind you.  I mean, I love my sister.  But that's how she is, lol.  Quite the opposite of me in that way; I like people and being around them.  People just don't seem to like me very much.  I mean, not enough to want to become friends and hang out and stuff.

Well, I do also spend a lot of time watching anime - even now. That being said, I inherited my parent's magnetism and charisma because people always want to hang around me for some reason. It gets to the point where I have to ghost some people or purposely start ignoring them.

[The Blackangel]

21 hours ago, Steerminator said:

You sound a lot like my sister; she's usually friendly when approached, but she's the most misanthropic person I know.  I hate to copy your exact words, but that's literally how I describe her to people.  She has no friends and doesn't want any.  I almost never see her because she spends 95% of her free time sitting in her room watching anime.  I'm pretty sure the only people in the entire world she actually likes are me, my brother, and our parents.  I'm not trying to paint her in a negative light, mind you.  I mean, I love my sister.  But that's how she is, lol.  Quite the opposite of me in that way; I like people and being around them.  People just don't seem to like me very much.  I mean, not enough to want to become friends and hang out and stuff.

The difference between me and your sister, is that she cares for her family. I would make popcorn to watch my "family" die the most excruciating death with all of us knowing that I was the only one that could save them, yet not doing a damn thing but watching.

[Steerminator]

11 hours ago, The Blackangel said:

The difference between me and your sister, is that she cares for her family. I would make popcorn to watch my "family" die the most excruciating death with all of us knowing that I was the only one that could save them, yet not doing a damn thing but watching.

lol Yeah, that's a pretty striking difference.  Sounds like you -really- don't like your family.  We're all really close; even my misanthropic sister who hates everybody is close with my brother, me and our parents.

[Steerminator]

On 6/16/2021 at 9:44 PM, killamch89 said:

Well, I do also spend a lot of time watching anime - even now. That being said, I inherited my parent's magnetism and charisma because people always want to hang around me for some reason. It gets to the point where I have to ghost some people or purposely start ignoring them.

It seems that being both popular and unpopular each has their own advantages.

[killamch89]

55 minutes ago, Steerminator said:

It seems that being both popular and unpopular each has their own advantages.

Trust me, right now I feel like just wearing a paper bag over my face with an angry face on it just so people will think I'm unhinged and leave me alone.

[The Blackangel]

12 hours ago, Steerminator said:

lol Yeah, that's a pretty striking difference.  Sounds like you -really- don't like your family.  We're all really close; even my misanthropic sister who hates everybody is close with my brother, me and our parents.

I'm willing to bet your sister wasn't mercilessly abused physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally every day of her life by your entire family growing up though. This includes siblings and extended family.

So to put it short, I cut them ALL out years ago. And if one of them was to show up at my door, I would simply give them one chance to leave and never come back, or I would just kill them so that I never had to deal with them again.

[Steerminator]

20 hours ago, The Blackangel said:

I'm willing to bet your sister wasn't mercilessly abused physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally every day of her life by your entire family growing up though. This includes siblings and extended family.

So to put it short, I cut them ALL out years ago. And if one of them was to show up at my door, I would simply give them one chance to leave and never come back, or I would just kill them so that I never had to deal with them again.

No she wasn't.  That's a very sad story.

She has had a lot of trouble though.  First when she was 2 years old she was afflicted with some illness that paralyzed her and almost killed her.  She managed to slowly recover somehow, except for her right leg, which had to have the tendons cut in it, so ever since its basically straight.  She can't bend her knee.

She's 14 older than me so I don't know all the details, but I've been told that she had an incredibly difficult time because was treated cruelly by other students in school because she was crippled, and she had a very difficult time academically as well.  I guess that all may have something to do with why she has such a negative view of other people.