Twice in one year

[The Blackangel]

We had to put Bean Dip down last night. He was completely unable to use his hind legs from what we were told. So we cut our St. Louis vacation short and came home early. I haven’t spoken or been able to form a single thought in my head. But this one is worse than when we lost Gypsy. With Bean, it was a conscious decision made to intentionally kill him.

I don’t know when or even if at this point I will be back. Losing Gypsy was extremely devastating. The role that we played in losing Bean Dip, was more than my mind has been able to handle. By the time my girl came out from the vet office, I had my .357 in my chin, and was starting to squeeze the trigger. She got to me first and wrestled the gun away from me. I wish she hadn't. I wanted to go with Bean. I still do. I just can't think at the moment. We had him since he was a puppy. He was around 11 years old. I remember crying uncontrollably the whole way home from St. Louis, but nothing else.

So this is definitely a temporary goodbye, and potentially a permanent goodbye. I don't know at the moment. Obviously the YouTube channel is on hiatus for now, assuming it ever starts up again.

 

 

[Shagger]

So sorry to hear about this. I know how feel about your pets, and understand how devastating this must be. Please, take all the time you need.

 

Please though, do me one favour. Don't pull that trigger. You're stronger than that. This world wants you, we at VGR want you.

[Crazycrab]

My sympathies, it might only be a small condolence and were not always friends but we are always here for you.  I'm no psychiatrist and I can't fully contemplate what your going through, but I think for the sake of your girl it might be a good idea to surrender your firearms to someone you trust for a while.  You and certainly us a VGR don't want you to have suicidal thoughts with them around.

[Reality vs Adventure]

That is why I don't want any more pets after the ones I have are gone. I love to have them, but don't want to lose them; I get way too attached. This is the world we live in. I think about my pets everyday, what would I do if they were gone. I try to train myself to feel the suffering before it happens so that I can be prepared when it does. And there really is no preparation. You will always feel some sort of guilt no matter what. But please fight it whenever it creeps into your mind. Mourn for a while and I hope you eventually find a smile whenever you think about any pet you lost. I've got tears in my eyes too thinking about what you are going through. 

[Sharon]

My deepest condolences. Pets are family and I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[killamch89]

I know how you feel because my oldest dog is also very sick and no amount of medication or anything is helping his condition and I see his suffering but he's been with me since I started working my first job but I've kinda come to the decision that I'll just have to put him down to ease his suffering.

[The Blackangel]

After a week of inability to speak, and isolation, I'm back. I honestly wasn't sure if I would ever return to any of the forums I post on. But I'm back here at least. And truth be told, I actually missed this place. There are things that I still need to deal with in this whole situation, but I'm making some minimal progress. I've made plans to fly out to Indiana next month to hopefully bring home an Iroc. So here's hoping everything goes well on that end. I'll have my niece or maybe one of her friends model with it for some pics if I bring it home. I'm too fat and ugly to model, unless I move to a world full of orcs and goblins.

TL/DR: I'm back, but still mourning.

Besides you guys need a psycho bitch here to keep you all in line.

[Shagger]

9 minutes ago, The Blackangel said:

After a week of inability to speak, and isolation, I'm back. I honestly wasn't sure if I would ever return to any of the forums I post on. But I'm back here at least. And truth be told, I actually missed this place. There are things that I still need to deal with in this whole situation, but I'm making some minimal progress. I've made plans to fly out to Indiana next month to hopefully bring home an Iroc. So here's hoping everything goes well on that end. I'll have my niece or maybe one of her friends model with it for some pics if I bring it home. I'm too fat and ugly to model, unless I move to a world full of orcs and goblins.

TL/DR: I'm back, but still mourning.

Besides you guys need a psycho bitch here to keep you all in line.

 

Glad to see you back. Remember we're all here for you.

[Reality vs Adventure]

You have been missed here. One day at a time as they say. 

[killamch89]

8 hours ago, The Blackangel said:

After a week of inability to speak, and isolation, I'm back. I honestly wasn't sure if I would ever return to any of the forums I post on. But I'm back here at least. And truth be told, I actually missed this place. There are things that I still need to deal with in this whole situation, but I'm making some minimal progress. I've made plans to fly out to Indiana next month to hopefully bring home an Iroc. So here's hoping everything goes well on that end. I'll have my niece or maybe one of her friends model with it for some pics if I bring it home. I'm too fat and ugly to model, unless I move to a world full of orcs and goblins.

TL/DR: I'm back, but still mourning.

Besides you guys need a psycho bitch here to keep you all in line.

It's good to have you back - it wasn't as entertaining without you.