Bothers you more than it should

[DC]

What is something that bothers you more than it should?

[Reality vs Adventure]

For me it has to be when people talk to me and they stand right in front of me and stare at my eyes and never look away. It's very disturbing. When I look to the side, they then move to the side to stay in from of my face. I understand that eye contact is important and respectful, but too much of it I consider to be disrespectful. Something I learned in a cultural psychology class is that in many cultures, people see face to face communication as aggressive. I completely agree with that. I can't remember exactly this old saying, but I think it goes 'friends sit side by side while enemies look at you in the face.' People need to understand that eye contact doesn't mean you have to hold a stare. To me it is highly uncomfortable. It's better to acknowledge them with eye contact, and casually look away here and there, go back to eye contact in a calming way. But a lot of people are probably wacked out on caffeine and yapping away while holding a damn non blinking stare. I feel like punching them. And I know they probably think it's rude that I look to the side. They probably think I'm not paying attention. So it's two highly different ways of communicating coming to clash together. All I can say, please know when to look at something else and don't stare while talking to someone. 

[Clasher]

3 minutes ago, Reality vs Adventure said:

For me it has to be when people talk to me and they stand right in front of me and stare at my eyes and never look away. It's very disturbing. When I look to the side, they then move to the side to stay in from of my face. I understand that eye contact is important and respectful, but too much of it I consider to be disrespectful. Something I learned in a cultural psychology class is that in many cultures, people see face to face communication as aggressive. I completely agree with that. I can't remember exactly this old saying, but I think it goes 'friends sit side by side while enemies look at you in the face.' People need to understand that eye contact doesn't mean you have to hold a stare. To me it is highly uncomfortable. It's better to acknowledge them with eye contact, and casually look away here and there, go back to eye contact in a calming way. But a lot of people are probably wacked out on caffeine and yapping away while holding a damn non blinking stare. I feel like punching them. And I know they probably think it's rude that I look to the side. They probably think I'm not paying attention. So it's two highly different ways of communicating coming to clash together. All I can say, please know when to look at something else and don't stare while talking to someone. 

And some people are of the opinion that if you can not look them in the eyes while you are talking to them then you are not really confident enough, a friend of mine was denied a job once because he wasn't staring at the interviewer eye ball to eye ball when he was answering questions.

This further explains to me that what some people might deem as a good character trait can even be offensive to others.

[Aniekwe]

It bothers me when people yell at me for any reason whatsoever. I don't care about whatever I might have done wrong but don't don't yell at me. You can talk to me like a human being and correct me but never yell. It bothers me more than it should because I hate that. 

[Reality vs Adventure]

9 minutes ago, Clasher said:

And some people are of the opinion that if you can not look them in the eyes while you are talking to them then you are not really confident enough, a friend of mine was denied a job once because he wasn't staring at the interviewer eye ball to eye ball when he was answering questions.

This further explains to me that what some people might deem as a good character trait can even be offensive to others.

You are correct and that's a societal problem. That's why people need to understand other cultures, and know when somebody is uncomfortable. It goes both ways. Job interviews are more important to be able to hold eye contact. But people take those situations like that from a professional setting into everyday interpersonal communication with others and makes it uncomfortable. 

[Reality vs Adventure]

13 minutes ago, Aniekwe said:

It bothers me when people yell at me for any reason whatsoever. I don't care about whatever I might have done wrong but don't don't yell at me. You can talk to me like a human being and correct me but never yell. It bothers me more than it should because I hate that. 

I absolutely hate that too. My mom used to scream at me and my sister like a complete lunatic while we were kids. And it just put us in a kind of shell shock. It's insane. So I'm extra sensitive to yelling. My sister too hates yelling because of that woman. 

[Shagger]

Mine is actually gaming related. When I play Tales of Berseria, it drives me nuts when all the characters total earned XP isn't as close together as possible.

 

I maybe should explain a little for those that don't know. In ToB the characters all earn XP from the battles in the game and they all earn the same XP whether they are in the active battle part of not, expect for one thing. The character who scores the final hit on the last enemy standing earns bonus XP. The size of the bonus is parentage of the standard XP calculated by (I think) by the sized of thier best combo chain or something like that. So that means that every time somebody earn a bit more XP than the others.

 

When characters first join the party, they're usually a bit behind, so you can use this system to help them catch up. This is some you want to do in order to see that all the party member are at equal strength and all level up at the same time, so the system does serve a purpose of some kind. My issue is end up obsessed with this. I even re-arrange my party order after each battle to make sure those with the highest XP are not part of the active party and thus can't get the bonus. It get really me riles up when somebody starts to pull ahead of the others or if I get a chain of the same characters getting or not the bonus repeatedly throwing everything out of balance. If a really need a certain character to get the bonus to square everything up, I'll disable the combat actions of the others to make sure that only the character I want gets that bonus. I even find myself stopping playing the game to just flip around the character status screens figuring out where the biggest gaps are. And I get genuinely angry when it goes wrong.

 

I do a similar thing when I play FFX, but in that game obsessing over the character levelling is justified as you have to make sure all the characters are involved in the battle, otherwise you can loose progress, so you have to keep it at the forefront of your mind. Here, it's obsessive and unnecessary. I need help...

Edited June 27, 2022 by Shagger

[Reality vs Adventure]

4 minutes ago, Reality vs Adventure said:

I absolutely hate that too. My mom used to scream at me and my sister like a complete lunatic while we were kids. And it just put us in a kind of shell shock. It's insane. So I'm extra sensitive to yelling. My sister too hates yelling because of that woman. 

I think that probably contributed to my eye contact problem, because our mom would get right in our faces and scream like a mad person. It really did  put us in a state of shock. 

[Clasher]

9 minutes ago, Reality vs Adventure said:

You are correct and that's a societal problem. That's why people need to understand other cultures, and know when somebody is uncomfortable. It goes both ways. Job interviews are more important to be able to hold eye contact. But people take those situations like that from a professional setting into everyday interpersonal communication with others and makes it uncomfortable. 

Was having a conversation with a lady once who told me she feels it's romantic for her partner or a guy to maintain good eye contact with her during conversations and for her it goes beyond just meeting eyes but it shows the guy is sincere and isn't lying, she feels when someone is lying they wouldn't want to have eye contacts with the person they are lying to.

[Shagger]

20 minutes ago, Clasher said:

Was having a conversation with a lady once who told me she feels it's romantic for her partner or a guy to maintain good eye contact with her during conversations and for her it goes beyond just meeting eyes but it shows the guy is sincere and isn't lying, she feels when someone is lying they wouldn't want to have eye contacts with the person they are lying to.

 

Good eye contact is one thing, staring at someone intently like your trying to "Shang Tsung" thier soul is another.

 

 

Edited June 27, 2022 by Shagger

[Reality vs Adventure]

45 minutes ago, Clasher said:

Was having a conversation with a lady once who told me she feels it's romantic for her partner or a guy to maintain good eye contact with her during conversations and for her it goes beyond just meeting eyes but it shows the guy is sincere and isn't lying, she feels when someone is lying they wouldn't want to have eye contacts with the person they are lying to.

She probably forces him to stare at her in the eye while he's ravaging her too. How you like me now? I'm not lying. I'm not lying. Ohhh, muy muy grande. Look at me, oi oiii. I'm lookin, I'm lookin. I'm gonna...look. I'm oohhhhh loooooking!!!!

[Clasher]

1 minute ago, Reality vs Adventure said:

She probably forces him to stare at her in the eye while he's ravaging her too. How you like me now? I'm not lying. I'm not lying. Ohhh, muy muy grande. Look at me, oi oiii. I'm lookin, I'm lookin. I'm gonna...look. I'm oohhhhh loooooking!!!!

You are trying to be funny.

I kinda understand what she meant, not like you should stare at her like you want to snatch the living day light out of her, but trying to maintain a good eye contact during conversations not excessively as you made it seem.

[Reality vs Adventure]

10 minutes ago, Clasher said:

You are trying to be funny.

I kinda understand what she meant, not like you should stare at her like you want to snatch the living day light out of her, but trying to maintain a good eye contact during conversations not excessively as you made it seem.

I see where you are coming from. Making eye contact comes naturally when you love someone. But to judge someone by not holding eye contact sets that person up to deception by the simple act of depending on that eye contact and other body gestures. There are plenty of men/women out there that can lie their ass of right to another's face. But like I said, when love is true, it comes naturally. Not something a person should make a deciding factor in a relationship or they could find themselves getting cheated on as the guy maintained great eye contact with his mistress. 

[Clasher]

2 minutes ago, Reality vs Adventure said:

I see where you are coming from. Making eye contact comes naturally when you love someone. But to judge someone by not holding eye contact sets that person up to deception by the simple act of depending on that eye contact and other body gestures. There are plenty of men/women out there that can lie their ass of right to another's face. But like I said, when love is true, it comes naturally. Not something a person should make a deciding factor in a relationship or they could find themselves getting cheated on as the guy maintained great eye contact with his mistress. 

That's true mate, there are a lot of people who could lie to your face and even when they try to convince you it was all a lie you wouldn't believe it either because they sounded so real and genuine. Body languages and gestures is as important in a conversation as the words you are saying , keeping a blank body expression might be sending the wrong signal as well.

So it's best we do everything in moderation.

[Yaramaki]

couple of things that bother me more then it should :

-> People calling you out that you are addicted to videogames where in turn they watch the most stupid shit imaginable on tv.

-> People calling fries -> french fries, my god as a proud belgian where fries are  cultural heritage almost like a second religion please stop doing that for that i thank you in advance. 

-> Getting outbid/sniped on ebay or yahoo japan, i've learned to get over it as i grew older and i've became more relaxed about it but it still pisses me off to lose out in the final seconds. 

-> Jehovah's Witnesses coming preaching at my door, like i give a damn. they came knockingt wice this week, how many times do i have to say i don't give a fuck about religion.

-> impatient people who are cutting in line because lets face it it's just annoying and rude to do. 

-> Spam posting on vgr.com

-> Fucking Fortnite that is everywhere these days

 

Edited June 27, 2022 by Yaramaki