Yes, this headline is indeed real. No, April Fools day has long come and gone. Now that those questions are out of the way and the initial befuddlement has hopefully subsided, Ubisoft has indeed introduced a new mercenary by the name of Testiklos the Nut.
Say His Name
While Assassin’s Creed has never been a franchise that takes itself too seriously, nobody would blame you for thinking that Gearbox designed and released this update instead of Ubisoft. The Assassin’s Creed Twitter account made the announcement of Testiklos’ presence in Odyssey to a mix of hilarity and utter confusion. But he is real, he’s angry, and he’s oh so ready to smash things.
The tale of poor Testiklos is a sad one though. As detailed above, the brutish warrior was separated from his half-brother Testikles when they were both young and impressionable. Naturally, he’s just never felt as whole since then. He reconciles these emotions with violence and dangerous petulance, something which is fair considering his life circumstances. The cherry on top of this wonderfully bizarre cake, however, is the fact that players are rewarded with his weapon the Nutcracker when he meets his demise. How poetic.
This isn’t the first instance of Ubisoft tacking on elementary jokes in Assassin’s Creed Odyssey though. Fans seem too quick to forget the mercenary by the name of Hirpes, who just so happened to bear the nickname The Burning Fury. Ubisoft truly does continue to give in to their inner middle schooler with not so subtle jokes like these, and it seems as though fans have fully bought into the bit as well. Testiklos the Nut is yours to track down and kill, leaving his Nutcracker ripe for the taking.